Thursday, December 19, 2013

No computer, not necessarily a problem

I haven't done this in a long while.
I'm not sure I even remember how.
I think... It's like knowing how to ride a bicycle (which I do), in that you never forget.
There was a time in my life when this blog was very relevant and helpful to my mental well being and then I changed, as we all do, and I moved on to other adventures.
I spent time doing things I liked more, or hated but were necessary.
It's been a few years now that I haven't had a proper computer (even now I'm writing this in the notes on my phone), and I used that as an excuse not to come here.
The longer I put it off, the easier it became to stay away.

I knew that I couldn't be the person I was when I started all this. I don't think I fit into any of the molds I used to subscribe too and the online world has become bigger.
I've spent my time on Tumblr reblogging things that make me happy, just to be able to remember them, but I wasn't creating much of my own.
I spent time on Facebook, feeling connected to those I already love, weeding out my friends list of those who don't give me what I need.
I spent time on Twitter and Instagram to fulfill my need for instant gratification and ego boosting.
I watched some important and life affirming videos on YouTube (and some just plain stupid ones too).

But none of that was about me.
It was for me.
I forgot that blogging used to be both.
It was about sharing myself and inventing myself and following the rules and breaking the rules and learning about the community of humans living on the crust of this planet.
I think I miss writing, I think I miss sharing, I think I miss feeling the power I have over my words and ideas.
I think a lot.
I think my thoughts get lonely up there battling each other in my head and want to come out and visit other thoughts.

So here I am.
Changed and changing,
Invented and inventing,
Powerful and empowered,
Learning, loving, hating, fangirling, geeking out, falling over, getting up, and moving forward.

I will not be keeping my old format.
I will not promise to do do anything but exactly what I want.

I will share when I want.
I will link some of my favorite things when I decide they are my favorites.
I will slowly construct a sidebar that makes sense for me, but for now I'm pretty sure all those links over there work.
I will endeavor to be real, and not sugarcoat my fandoms or my feelings about things.

I hope that I will find this new adventure as satisfying as I always used too, and I hope you will too.

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